In a world that continually casts blame, I refuse not to. Instead I vow to take responsibility for my fate- the result of my actions, my decisions... my fault.
Everything thing that I have become is of my own design. Sometimes, my decisions are something that God can be proud of because they honour him. Sometimes I make mistakes and I let my Creator down. I will not make the mistake of blaming anyone for my current situation. I will not blame my friends, I will not blame my parents and I definitely will not blame God.
My life is not about me and by blaming others for my problems I would just be engendering in myself, a sense of self-pity and that is the last thing I want. I can't afford to be any more selfish.
It's bad enough that I'm so open with my emotions and everybody knows just how messed up I am. Except my parents who I will never directly talk to about my psychological problems. I'm cursed with the innate ability to emotionally manipulate people and I plan on diminishing that. I don't want to tell people about my problems. Shouldn't I rather just die quietly?
It's no one's fault except my own because my decisions had their set of consequences. I can't blame the world. I won't blame the world.
--J.
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