When Can We Be Safe?

I don't often find that I have extensive difficulty falling asleep but when I do, I feel frustrated at the cause for my insomnia. Last night I lay awake, tossing and turning for the greater part of the first few hours of 5 April 2014, due to the relentless fear that was welling up inside of me. I am blessed to have all of the things that I have - the security that a home and family provides within a relatively safe environment. Yet why does that not protect me from this feeling of uncomfortable vulnerability? Why is it that I am unable to feel safe?

The cruel happenings and injustices that are constantly being reported do more than simply worry me - they anger me profusely. As a South African woman, to have to constantly live in fear is an infringement on my freedom that I cannot stand. It is horrendous to me that there are people in this country of our who are willing and motivated to strip away the freedoms of others. It as though the struggle of Apartheid came to an end only to open the floodgates an entirely new struggle of a psychological nature. Our country is poisoned and ill because of the atrocities performed by people tainted by wickedness and hatred. I often find myself asking nothing more than, "WHY?".

More often than not, the crimes we hear about on the news or read about in our newspapers are performed by the men in our country. Rape and murder are broadcast in every other headline and while it makes me sick to my stomach, it also makes me more than curious as to why the men in our country behave in the way that they do. I have always been taught that rape is not about sexual desire but rather about the acquisition of power. That leads me to question as to just what is it within our society and respective cultures that causes people to be so starved of power that they are compelled to perform acts of sheer evil upon the innocent and often helpless members of society. 

I find the answer can be found in various facets of society. We can look almost immediately to the shortcomings of our government - in failing to deliver promises for job opportunity and affordable housing among other things, the government proceeds to render South African people essentially powerless to their situations. One can't simply relegate all blame to the government but unfortunately that is what happens - people expect the government to solve all of their problems and to provide them with everything. The sense of complacency and entitlement that is all too common in this country makes me angry because we end up relinquishing our own God-given power as individuals. So while there are instances where people have little or no control over their situations, we also do little to protect and utilize personal power and initiative. All of this talk of power and what do we have to show for it? An emasculated society characterized by increasing nihilism and feelings of futility.

None of what I have just mentioned is by any means an excuse or a justification for the indecencies committed by people in this country. It is obvious that not everybody in difficult circumstances feels compelled to rape and murder others out of desperation and lust for power. However, the awareness needs to be created that we cannot stand by and wait for power to be thrust upon us because it is something that is inherent and only when unlocked from within can it truly be utilized. Don't get me wrong, the government and complacency (in short) cannot solely be blamed for the ridiculously high levels of crime in our country but it can be identified as a part of the problem that can be dealt with. With the 2014 elections coming up in just over a month's time, I urge the people in our country to choose wisely but also to not depend solely on an inevitably imperfect government to make their world a better place.

To rapists out there, I urge you to stop with all of my heart. Every time I read about an incident of rape, my blood boils and I am filled with more anger and fear than I know what to do with. I wish that more people would take a stand. Nothing will get solved with everybody just sitting around and simply being shocked and/or saddened by the news they hear and read only to change the channel or recycle their newspaper. I look at myself and my friends, the little kids I work with, my family members, passersby in the shops, etc. and I'm filled with the anxiety and worry that just about any one of us could potentially be made victims. 

I consider myself to be blessed to have a home and to live in a relatively safe environment yet if I have cause to be fearful, I can only imagine what runs through the minds of others living in conditions far less favorable than my own. I fear for my country and for the safety of the innocent. I fear that the psyche of South Africans will only further become twisted and tormented lest we take an active stand against those who threaten of supposedly inalienable human rights... otherwise, when can we be safe? 

--J.