In hindsight, my last post was a bit irrational. I was upset and exhausted... Not nearly enough so that I would want to die though. I love living because all the unhappiness makes me appreciate the happy moments that I come across when I'm not really looking for them.
I'm still not in the greatest of spirits this morning. Mostly because I'mm irritated with the fact that people waste so much time arguing over petty things. Life is too precious and time is too scarce to fight. I don't understand why a fuss is made over something that, in the grander scheme of things, means absolutely nothing.
So for now, I guess I'll just grin and bare society's cruel guidelines. A fresh coat of black nail polish is in order to cover up the cracks...
Here's to living.
--J.
Wednesday 28 March 2012
Tuesday 27 March 2012
I Thought You Were The Exception
Should it come across as surprising that you are choosing to draw back from me? No, not all if I measured you up against everyone else who has hurt me in the past... But it's you. You can't do this to me.
Every new person that sneaks up on me and steals my heart winds up getting bored of me and leaving with a piece of me as a souvenir. That is what the trend predicts. However, to every rule there is always an exception. Am I simply stupid for wishing or thinking that you would be that exception.
You think you're protecting me... You're just hurting me. If you don't want me to develop feelings then consider it done... Why would would I intentionally jeopardise something that is of the utmost importance to me. The only thing that will hurt our friendship is if either of us change the people that we are in a negative way. I dare not change for fear of what I have to lose... but you seem more than willing to tempt fate by twisting what we have to seemingly "save" me from any unnecessary temptation.
I can't sleep... Hence the blogging. I think it best for me to mindlessly complain here about my feelings and pains than to cry any more over this. Yes, I did cry... After realising your intention to pull back from a friendship I thought meant something to you. I felt like bleeding, I felt like cutting... I wanted some physical equivalent to this pain. It's insane, you see... what happens when someone gets close to me and then tries to move away.
It hurts so much. When it happens a second time you think it's coincidence but by the third time you start to question whether there's something wrong with you. Perhaps it is just that then... Something wrong with me. In which case, why don't I just go jump off a cliff right now and save you all the trouble of getting to know me before you're choked my over-dramatised and tragic soul.
I never thought you would make me feel like this. I never thought the old memories, feelings and ghosts of the past would sting as much as they do. I'm not over any of it... Because I'm not all too great at moving on.
The craziness is that... You know all of this about me. I let you in ever so blindly because I thought you were the exception.
I thought you wouldn't leave.
--J.
Every new person that sneaks up on me and steals my heart winds up getting bored of me and leaving with a piece of me as a souvenir. That is what the trend predicts. However, to every rule there is always an exception. Am I simply stupid for wishing or thinking that you would be that exception.
You think you're protecting me... You're just hurting me. If you don't want me to develop feelings then consider it done... Why would would I intentionally jeopardise something that is of the utmost importance to me. The only thing that will hurt our friendship is if either of us change the people that we are in a negative way. I dare not change for fear of what I have to lose... but you seem more than willing to tempt fate by twisting what we have to seemingly "save" me from any unnecessary temptation.
I can't sleep... Hence the blogging. I think it best for me to mindlessly complain here about my feelings and pains than to cry any more over this. Yes, I did cry... After realising your intention to pull back from a friendship I thought meant something to you. I felt like bleeding, I felt like cutting... I wanted some physical equivalent to this pain. It's insane, you see... what happens when someone gets close to me and then tries to move away.
It hurts so much. When it happens a second time you think it's coincidence but by the third time you start to question whether there's something wrong with you. Perhaps it is just that then... Something wrong with me. In which case, why don't I just go jump off a cliff right now and save you all the trouble of getting to know me before you're choked my over-dramatised and tragic soul.
I never thought you would make me feel like this. I never thought the old memories, feelings and ghosts of the past would sting as much as they do. I'm not over any of it... Because I'm not all too great at moving on.
The craziness is that... You know all of this about me. I let you in ever so blindly because I thought you were the exception.
I thought you wouldn't leave.
--J.
Monday 26 March 2012
Always - Kristian Stanfill
"Always"
Oh, my GOD, He will not DELAY
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His PROMISE is true
My God will come through always, always
Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My SOUL WILL REST in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way
Oh, my God, He will not delay
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way
Oh, my GOD, He will not DELAY
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His PROMISE is true
My God will come through always, always
Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My SOUL WILL REST in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way
Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord
Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always
Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always, Always
_________________________________
--J.
Far Far Away
There once lived a girl in a land far far away. She had long, black hair and sparkling blue eyes. She was beautiful and perfect in every sense.
No one could ever hate her... even those who tried to. No one could touch her... She could not be, in any way, flawed by another. No one dared to hurt her. Everyone smiled at the sight of her. She made everyone happy... Because she was perfect.
She had nothing and no one to fear.
She would sit in a meadow of wild flowers and lift her eyes up to the golden sun as God seemed to smile down upon his most perfect and beautiful creation since Jesus Christ. This angelic little girl who could do no wrong. The clouds would not dare to look grey in her sight and when it rained, she was shielded by the very Hand of God.
Even when she had everything for doing nothing other than existing, no one envied her. No one could be jealous. No one coveted her fortunes and blessings but rather bestowed, upon her, more and more.
When she ultimately died, peacefully and gently in her sleep one night, the angels mourned. The earth began to bleed through the cracks that had begun to form and the heavens rolled back and unleashed its shameless tears. Her body was burnt and her ashes scattered while her soul remained to show itself through others so that the world may still see her perfection even if just for a moment. Her permanent likeness however, remained perfectly elusive.
She remained far far away.
--J.
No one could ever hate her... even those who tried to. No one could touch her... She could not be, in any way, flawed by another. No one dared to hurt her. Everyone smiled at the sight of her. She made everyone happy... Because she was perfect.
She had nothing and no one to fear.
She would sit in a meadow of wild flowers and lift her eyes up to the golden sun as God seemed to smile down upon his most perfect and beautiful creation since Jesus Christ. This angelic little girl who could do no wrong. The clouds would not dare to look grey in her sight and when it rained, she was shielded by the very Hand of God.
Even when she had everything for doing nothing other than existing, no one envied her. No one could be jealous. No one coveted her fortunes and blessings but rather bestowed, upon her, more and more.
When she ultimately died, peacefully and gently in her sleep one night, the angels mourned. The earth began to bleed through the cracks that had begun to form and the heavens rolled back and unleashed its shameless tears. Her body was burnt and her ashes scattered while her soul remained to show itself through others so that the world may still see her perfection even if just for a moment. Her permanent likeness however, remained perfectly elusive.
She remained far far away.
--J.
Saturday 24 March 2012
Titanium
"Spiderpig, spiderpig does whatever a spiderpig does.
Can he swing from a web... No he can't - he is a pig.
Look out... He is a Spiderpig."
My whole heart is encompassed by God. Furthermore, it consists of family, friends, the joys of life but is dominated by one thing or rather, person. A best friend. A favourite person.
It's dangerous and frightening... loving him so much. Nothing is stopping him from just leaving like everyone eventually does. The best friend and favourite person before him left without so much as a kindly goodbye or a kiss on the cheek- she just got up and walked away... so why wouldn't he do the same thing? And yet, even though I am all too aware of the dangers I am liable to, I can't not love him or love him any less.
He very cleverly made me promise him that I would never have romantic feelings towards him and that we'd never be anything more than friends. A few months ago, I had never even considered the prospect in the least. I didn't think it would ever be problem. I didn't know how close I would get to him. I didn't think he would become all that I thought about. I didn't believe that it might be possible for me to love someone so much. Keeping true to the promise I've made to him, I've decided never to tell him if I ever do develop feelings for him. I suppose that's the only thing I will never tell him. I can't risk losing him.
He likes this girl... This amazing girl. He really likes her and she's the only person who won't see that. I suppose it makes me jealous to a certain degree... because I know that she can make him happy so effortlessly and I fail to do so all the time. Oh how he loves her... It's adorable and real. One of the things I that allow me to relate to him even more is his habit of holding on because it's exactly what I do... He's holding on. I wish she would just open her eyes and really see him. She would see past the irritating outer layer and into the heart of who he is. She would see someone that has the ability to care and love more than she understands. She knows him well enough to know the way he is but she won't let him show her the way he loves. The way he speaks about her... makes me wish someone liked me that much. I think she's underestimated just how patient he is... and how freaking amazing he is.
People say that I've trapped myself and that I'm way too comfortable around him... more so than friends should ever be. Others try to push us apart or wish we weren't as close... and that hurts me a lot. Honestly, I can't stomach the fact that people don't want me to be his friend. They don't understand just how much he means to me. Beyond the irritation and the apparent immaturity that most people see, I see more of him and he see's more of me than anyone else. People who know my emotionally-driven mind know that I'm dangerously close to him.
He knows when I'm upset even when we're just chatting via WhatsApp. He knows that I only eat the green-packet flavour of popcorn from the tuck shop. He knows that I don't like lemon-flavoured ice tea. He knows that I'll laugh for three minutes straight if he 'sings' to me over the phone. He thinks my shoulders are too bony. He knows I can't stay upset with him. He makes me laugh and he makes me happier than anyone has in a very long time. He makes fun of me all the time and enjoys abusing me(in the most unsociopathic way)... but he gives the best hugs. He knows exactly when to tell me that he loves me... And he always means it. When we're not joking around, he means what he says. He's one of the most real people I know...
He was there for me when I was so far gone I thought I would finally kill myself. I remember looking over the edge of a balcony thinking to myself "I could definitely jump right now"... I thought of only two things afterwards... God and my favourite person. When I cut myself, he was angry and disappointed but still refused to resign me to needing therapy which is where most have decided that I should be. He's seen me cry before. He knows what has hurt me and what has broken me. He knows I need him and that in moments of crisis I don't want anyone else but him. He makes me feel safe in moments of complete hostility.
Flip man, I love him.
My best friend. My favourite person. My heart.
"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am Titanium"
My titanium.
--J.
Can he swing from a web... No he can't - he is a pig.
Look out... He is a Spiderpig."
My whole heart is encompassed by God. Furthermore, it consists of family, friends, the joys of life but is dominated by one thing or rather, person. A best friend. A favourite person.
It's dangerous and frightening... loving him so much. Nothing is stopping him from just leaving like everyone eventually does. The best friend and favourite person before him left without so much as a kindly goodbye or a kiss on the cheek- she just got up and walked away... so why wouldn't he do the same thing? And yet, even though I am all too aware of the dangers I am liable to, I can't not love him or love him any less.
He very cleverly made me promise him that I would never have romantic feelings towards him and that we'd never be anything more than friends. A few months ago, I had never even considered the prospect in the least. I didn't think it would ever be problem. I didn't know how close I would get to him. I didn't think he would become all that I thought about. I didn't believe that it might be possible for me to love someone so much. Keeping true to the promise I've made to him, I've decided never to tell him if I ever do develop feelings for him. I suppose that's the only thing I will never tell him. I can't risk losing him.
He likes this girl... This amazing girl. He really likes her and she's the only person who won't see that. I suppose it makes me jealous to a certain degree... because I know that she can make him happy so effortlessly and I fail to do so all the time. Oh how he loves her... It's adorable and real. One of the things I that allow me to relate to him even more is his habit of holding on because it's exactly what I do... He's holding on. I wish she would just open her eyes and really see him. She would see past the irritating outer layer and into the heart of who he is. She would see someone that has the ability to care and love more than she understands. She knows him well enough to know the way he is but she won't let him show her the way he loves. The way he speaks about her... makes me wish someone liked me that much. I think she's underestimated just how patient he is... and how freaking amazing he is.
People say that I've trapped myself and that I'm way too comfortable around him... more so than friends should ever be. Others try to push us apart or wish we weren't as close... and that hurts me a lot. Honestly, I can't stomach the fact that people don't want me to be his friend. They don't understand just how much he means to me. Beyond the irritation and the apparent immaturity that most people see, I see more of him and he see's more of me than anyone else. People who know my emotionally-driven mind know that I'm dangerously close to him.
He knows when I'm upset even when we're just chatting via WhatsApp. He knows that I only eat the green-packet flavour of popcorn from the tuck shop. He knows that I don't like lemon-flavoured ice tea. He knows that I'll laugh for three minutes straight if he 'sings' to me over the phone. He thinks my shoulders are too bony. He knows I can't stay upset with him. He makes me laugh and he makes me happier than anyone has in a very long time. He makes fun of me all the time and enjoys abusing me(in the most unsociopathic way)... but he gives the best hugs. He knows exactly when to tell me that he loves me... And he always means it. When we're not joking around, he means what he says. He's one of the most real people I know...
He was there for me when I was so far gone I thought I would finally kill myself. I remember looking over the edge of a balcony thinking to myself "I could definitely jump right now"... I thought of only two things afterwards... God and my favourite person. When I cut myself, he was angry and disappointed but still refused to resign me to needing therapy which is where most have decided that I should be. He's seen me cry before. He knows what has hurt me and what has broken me. He knows I need him and that in moments of crisis I don't want anyone else but him. He makes me feel safe in moments of complete hostility.
He doesn't know just how much I am willing to do for him...
He doesn't realise how much I wish she loved him...
He doesn't understand how much I love him...
Flip man, I love him.
My best friend. My favourite person. My heart.
"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am Titanium"
My titanium.
--J.
Ready To Be Tested?
There are fragments of my heart scattered across path ways like broken glass. Too small to be crushed or to be put back together, awaiting a strong enough wind to blow away the blood and lift the pressing heaviness.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012, was Human Rights Day in South Africa. It was also "Night of Worship" at Southpoint Church. I feel closest to God during worship when I can feel the music flow from my soul and the voices around me melt into a glorifying chorus to praise an Almighty God. I felt close to God that night... Closer than I have in a long time.
They took communion (the breaking of bread and drinking of wine or grape juice actually as a symbol of Christ's sacrifice for us) and between every few songs, my pastor would relay sections of a message. He spoke about heaviness. Not so much physical heaviness but rather emotional and spiritual heaviness. I could immediately relate because for the past few months that is all that I have been feeling. Heavy.
We had the opportunity to have people pray for us and I made use of it. I prayed too and I'm trying to be happy. I'm waiting... I can't rush God's perfect plan.
It hurts to wait when I want certain things now and get them if I don't act now. It's difficult and yes, Christian life isn't easy but that doesn't mean I don't wish that it was at times.
I do feel like something, some burden, has been lifted. God will, however, continue to test me.
Sola Gratia [By Grace Alone]
Sola Fide [By Faith Alone]
Solus Christus [By Christ Alone]
Sola Scriptura [By Scripture Alone]
Soli Deo Gloria [To God Alone Be The Glory]
I am ready.
--J.
Jimmy Nevis
Well what can I say really... It's more about listening.
It's more about the music.
"Born and raised in Cape Town, South Africa, Jimmy Nevis is a young (19 years old) alternative pop singer/ songwriter and producer. His sound comprises of quirky lyrics, acoustic tones and catchy melodies. With a passion for the music industry, he hopes to be making waves overseas someday soon. WATCH THIS SPACE!"
ELEPHANT SHOES
VERSE 1
I thought I won the lotto, when I fell for miss one-of-a-kind
And I would be that winner, who'd get to be her lucky guy
But love is blind
CHANNEL
But I loved her with the deepest part of my soul
But the feeling wasn't mutual
Three words, eight letters
And this love baby could've last forever
CHORUS
Baby broke my heart so bad I almost turned homo
I fell in love with someone who rode solo
I put my heart on the line
And all she said was elephant shoes, elephant shoes
Every tear, every smile was a lie
From hello we were heading for goodbye
I put my heart on the line
And all she said was elephant shoes, elephant shoes
Elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, ellae
Elephant shoes, elephant shoes
VERSE 2
We were the sun in the midnight sky
And the stars twinkling next to the moon
But I never ever recognised
The elephant in the room
But the end came too soon
CHANNEL
But I loved her with the deepest part of my soul
But the feeling wasn't mutual
Three words, eight letters
And this love baby could've last forever
CHORUS
Baby broke my heart so bad I almost turned homo
I fell in love with someone who rode solo
I put my heart on the line
And all she said was elephant shoes, elephant shoes
Every tear, every smile was a lie
From hello we were heading for goodbye
I put my heart on the line
And all she said was elephant shoes, elephant shoes
Elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, ellae
Elephant shoes, elephant shoes
BRIDGE
If we were ever meant to last
If we ever stood a chance
We wouldn't be here in this hell
In fact, I'd be lying next to you
Waiting to hear you say I love you too
CHORUS
Baby broke my heart so bad I almost turned homo
I fell in love with someone who rode solo
I put my heart on the line
And all she said was elephant shoes, elephant shoes
Every tear, every smile was a lie
From hello we were heading for goodbye
I put my heart on the line
And all she said was elephant shoes, elephant shoes
Elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, ellae
Elephant shoes, elephant shoes
Elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, elle, elle, ellae
Elle, elle, ellae
Elephant shoes, elephant shoes
It's Jimmy Nevis.
--J.
Saturday 10 March 2012
Me To Blame
In a world that continually casts blame, I refuse not to. Instead I vow to take responsibility for my fate- the result of my actions, my decisions... my fault.
Everything thing that I have become is of my own design. Sometimes, my decisions are something that God can be proud of because they honour him. Sometimes I make mistakes and I let my Creator down. I will not make the mistake of blaming anyone for my current situation. I will not blame my friends, I will not blame my parents and I definitely will not blame God.
My life is not about me and by blaming others for my problems I would just be engendering in myself, a sense of self-pity and that is the last thing I want. I can't afford to be any more selfish.
It's bad enough that I'm so open with my emotions and everybody knows just how messed up I am. Except my parents who I will never directly talk to about my psychological problems. I'm cursed with the innate ability to emotionally manipulate people and I plan on diminishing that. I don't want to tell people about my problems. Shouldn't I rather just die quietly?
It's no one's fault except my own because my decisions had their set of consequences. I can't blame the world. I won't blame the world.
--J.
Everything thing that I have become is of my own design. Sometimes, my decisions are something that God can be proud of because they honour him. Sometimes I make mistakes and I let my Creator down. I will not make the mistake of blaming anyone for my current situation. I will not blame my friends, I will not blame my parents and I definitely will not blame God.
My life is not about me and by blaming others for my problems I would just be engendering in myself, a sense of self-pity and that is the last thing I want. I can't afford to be any more selfish.
It's bad enough that I'm so open with my emotions and everybody knows just how messed up I am. Except my parents who I will never directly talk to about my psychological problems. I'm cursed with the innate ability to emotionally manipulate people and I plan on diminishing that. I don't want to tell people about my problems. Shouldn't I rather just die quietly?
It's no one's fault except my own because my decisions had their set of consequences. I can't blame the world. I won't blame the world.
--J.
Tuesday 6 March 2012
Dear Homosapien
Your hair looks nice when it's straightened. When it's natural it looks kind of fluffy because it's so short.
I remember when we were best friends in grade 10 and I used to play with you hair in English. It was longer then and it was black. Not this rusty orange-brown colour that it is now. I guess your girlfriend likes it.
I was writing the English Olympiad today and- this may sound weird- but I thought that I smelt you. Weird, I know... I remember hugging you and putting my head in your neck and just taking you in and feeling so safe. Perhaps I was hallucinating today. I don't know. It may have been because I was writing in the EGD classroom and maybe I was near where you usually sit. It was weird... like really. Because you don't smell the same any more. Maybe that's just because I'm not close enough to know any more.
I miss you. I miss playing with your squishy cheeks and kissing them hello and goodbye. I miss the arguments we had over who had the softest cheeks... I always won. I love your cheeks though. Now we don't even remotely touch each other. We don't hug or even high-five(not that anyone our age really high-fives nowadays). We are acquaintances if anything and I can't pretend to be okay with it.
We were best friends and now we're not friends at all...We didn't drift,you just closed the door.
--J.
I remember when we were best friends in grade 10 and I used to play with you hair in English. It was longer then and it was black. Not this rusty orange-brown colour that it is now. I guess your girlfriend likes it.
I was writing the English Olympiad today and- this may sound weird- but I thought that I smelt you. Weird, I know... I remember hugging you and putting my head in your neck and just taking you in and feeling so safe. Perhaps I was hallucinating today. I don't know. It may have been because I was writing in the EGD classroom and maybe I was near where you usually sit. It was weird... like really. Because you don't smell the same any more. Maybe that's just because I'm not close enough to know any more.
I miss you. I miss playing with your squishy cheeks and kissing them hello and goodbye. I miss the arguments we had over who had the softest cheeks... I always won. I love your cheeks though. Now we don't even remotely touch each other. We don't hug or even high-five(not that anyone our age really high-fives nowadays). We are acquaintances if anything and I can't pretend to be okay with it.
We were best friends and now we're not friends at all...We didn't drift,you just closed the door.
--J.
Boyfriend Stealer
If I steal your boyfriend. I'm sorry.
He's an amazing person with a huge heart. Granted, he's a bit of a flirt but he doesn't always get the attention he deserves from you.
Don't tell him that you miss him and refuse to make time for him. Don't get upset when he's made because you never see each other outside of school. He honestly hasn't done anything wrong in that regard. He's always available for you to spend time with. Don't take that for granted. Someone else will come along who will appreciate that about him. Then who do you think he'll want to spend time with more? Someone who makes an effort? Or someone who just makes excuses?
Don't expect him to be perfect. He is human and is therefore bound to make a mistake or disappoint you at some point in time. It's not fair on him to have to live up to unrealistic expectations. It's a similar concept to the meeting of an immovable object and an unstoppable force. What do you get? Chaos, turmoil and the end of the world as we know it... which is how you react when he slips up... when he's human. It only pushes him further and further away as he realises he will never be able to make you happy so why bother when he can make someone else happy. He's going to be happier with someone who doesn't expect too much from him. In the end, your focus should be on his happiness instead of your own, right?
He is a sexy beast so I don't question your taste. Don't take him for granted but don't become consumed by him. He needs to know he's appreciated without feeling trapped by you. If you don't treat him with the respect he needs as a guy then allow me to steal him. I would LOVE to have a boyfriend that adores me the way he adores you.
You don't know how good some things are until they're gone so don't make me turn my slut on and steal him from you.
Kay?
--J.
He's an amazing person with a huge heart. Granted, he's a bit of a flirt but he doesn't always get the attention he deserves from you.
Don't tell him that you miss him and refuse to make time for him. Don't get upset when he's made because you never see each other outside of school. He honestly hasn't done anything wrong in that regard. He's always available for you to spend time with. Don't take that for granted. Someone else will come along who will appreciate that about him. Then who do you think he'll want to spend time with more? Someone who makes an effort? Or someone who just makes excuses?
Don't expect him to be perfect. He is human and is therefore bound to make a mistake or disappoint you at some point in time. It's not fair on him to have to live up to unrealistic expectations. It's a similar concept to the meeting of an immovable object and an unstoppable force. What do you get? Chaos, turmoil and the end of the world as we know it... which is how you react when he slips up... when he's human. It only pushes him further and further away as he realises he will never be able to make you happy so why bother when he can make someone else happy. He's going to be happier with someone who doesn't expect too much from him. In the end, your focus should be on his happiness instead of your own, right?
He is a sexy beast so I don't question your taste. Don't take him for granted but don't become consumed by him. He needs to know he's appreciated without feeling trapped by you. If you don't treat him with the respect he needs as a guy then allow me to steal him. I would LOVE to have a boyfriend that adores me the way he adores you.
You don't know how good some things are until they're gone so don't make me turn my slut on and steal him from you.
Kay?
--J.
Dear Friend of a Friend
He's my friend- my best friend. I love him just as much as you do if not more. You can't expect him to choose between me and someone else. You can't tell him who to be friends with. That's his choice.
I don't hold any grudges and I don't respect you any less, I just wish you hadn't said what you said.
Be careful of whose feelings you play on. Because if you thought he wasn't going to tell me what you said then I think you're underestimating my relationship with him.
I love him so much. You can't take him away from me.
He's my favourite person.
--J.
I don't hold any grudges and I don't respect you any less, I just wish you hadn't said what you said.
Be careful of whose feelings you play on. Because if you thought he wasn't going to tell me what you said then I think you're underestimating my relationship with him.
I love him so much. You can't take him away from me.
He's my favourite person.
--J.
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