Picture Perfect

In my mind I see myself as beautiful. When there is no comparison and just my own wishful thinking, I am good enough. I wish what I see in my head would show up in the photographs that they take so that the world may see all that I wish to be instead of judging me.

The light is just right. The wind gently whips through my hair. My clothes hug my body in all the right places - showing off my curves and covering my flaws. For once I look like I want to feel. I sense the smile spread across my face with ease and the light glints in my eyes but doesn’t burn. There is no pressure and no expectation. Every picture is perfect and I am finally good enough to everyone else and no longer have to try to convince myself or the world that I have something to offer.

Unfortunately I don’t live in the world that is in my head. I cannot be beautiful in the world that I, in reality, live in because society won’t allow me to be. I know very well that I shouldn't listen to what society confines me to… I don’t. It’s everybody else that can’t see past the limitations that we’ve built around ourselves. So tell me, how can I be beautiful when the world screams so blatantly that as much as I try, I will not be? Why when I look at the pictures they take of me do I never see someone beautiful and unique but rather someone that is labelled as ugly?

I want to find someone that can properly photograph me – in pictures that capture what I think I see. Is it too much to ask that someone within this twisted society will find me beautiful and captivating? I want someone to finally see all of me without being put off by what they initially see on the outside. I want someone to take that perfect picture… I want someone to fall in love with me…

When he looks at me, he’ll see all of me. He’ll see all that makes me beautiful and different. He won’t care about the labels that society has manufacture. He’ll want to love me. He’ll be my perfect photographer – I’ll finally like what I see when I look in the mirror because there’s someone that loves the way I am… completely.

In my mind I’ll see myself as beautiful and he will think the same thing.

He'll think that I’m picture perfect.

--J.