The Performance of a Lifetime

She's acting; she knows what you like. She knows what you want. She knows she's not right for you... So she'll act like she is - because she's in love with you. 

Perhaps she'll realise that her persona will crack and eventually he'll see the real her... She'll no longer be the one he wants. She'll be too in love to let go - that's the way it always is. She'll get hurt when he leaves but she'll never be able to blame him for not understanding. She was the one acting while he was being real.

It doesn't matter that his version of 'real' meant being cruel. Nobody could ever blame him for being himself... She was the one who decided to be loved for what she was not... so how can be blame him for hating who she really is? She, however, fell in love with the real him... And she's still in love with him. She has no reason not to be - he hasn't changed. Yet now he will hurt her by running away... by shutting the proverbial door in her face.

Even in the face of pain, she won't let go of her feelings because she's a girl that has never been good at goodbyes, that has never had a knack for letting go and has never dealt well with rejection - thus the cause for her acting in the first place. 

She has no choice but to watch him leave... seeing as she cannot do anything within her power to make him stay. She can't take her eyes off of him. She will watch him walk away until she can no longer see him and even then, he will haunt her mind for an eternity... Because it was the performance of a lifetime.

She made him fall in love. She took a part of him. She is and always will be somewhat a part of him. They're both broken in some way. They've both been forced to walk away...

Because she was acting.

--J.