Friday 27 July 2012

Beautiful Let Down

The horrible thing about a beautiful let down is that you can't let go in the end. You are just left in the same dilemma- only now you are aware of the truth and are silenced into quiet longing.


We can think we are attracted to something or someone yet all it could be is admiration. Yet the hormone-crazed and superficial ways that we have come accustomed to encourage us to experience what I affectionately refer to as pseudo-emotions. Nothing can really be trusted to be real any more where our world has become dependent on quick-fixes and "the next best thing".


I thought I liked you yet for all it's worth you just may be a nice person but not right for me at all... Therefore your idea to reject me is appreciated because you saved me from entering into something that I would have regretted. Perhaps it is merely physical attraction that draws me to you and everything else about you that is flawed, I have magically been able to cover up just because the idea of you seemed brilliant. You make me laugh which is something that I claimed to be attracted to yet there are countless individuals that make me laugh yet there is no reason I find to be so wildly enthralled by them. What is sad is that I hardly know you yet I, selfishly, expect you to entertain my girlish fantasies. 

You're good and you're kind, you make me laugh which I appreciate... You're gorgeous... But you can't be mine and that's okay. I don't think I want to put you though that after I think about how I've harassed you with attention since deciding that I liked you. I'm sorry because I don't deserve you. I'm not a happy enough person to make anyone else happy.

I don't need to find anyone right now nor do I think it wise for me to continue searching. I'll give up for now...

--J.
  

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